Rosie, as she’s known by her brother, practically skyrocketed into this world exactly a week ago at 2:19AM on June 24th. A few days short of her due date, Rosie was born with the help of a wonderful midwife and the support of both TC and my best friend Claire, who was there to photograph the entire experience for us. It was a quick intense labor (we arrived to the hospital a few minutes short of midnight) and we are so delighted she arrived happy, healthy, and free of any of the problems doctors were concerned about during my pregnancy.
Knowing that we aren’t likely to keep expanding our family, I am treasuring every moment with our newborn – and already miss the experience of being pregnant. I loved the feeling of her in my belly and watching my body change over the past ten months. And even though it’s over, I’m still in disbelief that we were blessed enough to travel this road again. Carrying Rosie has created a lasting space for peace within me and I count it among the most joyful experiences of my life.
Bringing a baby into this world is also a powerful reminder of how important it is to find the right partner to co-parent with. After the prolonged period in which I filled the role of caregiver, the tables have turned, allowing TC to fill that role for me. He has also been the mountain of support and consistency that Jack needs to make it through all these uprooting changes. I have no idea how I’d manage without him and I send multiple prayers into the universe daily that I don’t have to.
With our family now permanently changed, I look at Jack with new eyes. A moment ago I sent him upstairs to weigh himself on the scale, convinced he’s gained 5 lbs and 3 inches in the past week. He just looks so enormously big and grown up. He trotted down a moment later, reporting that he weighs 40 lbs. Precisely what he weighed six weeks ago. Clearly my perception of things around me has been altered in a profound way.
Jack may look more mature than I remember him, but I have to keep in mind that he still has the emotional capacity of a 5-year-old. He adores his sister, but life feels quite foreign to him at the moment and he needs all the patience, attention, and love we can offer. Between his needs and Rosie’s constant cycle of eating, pooping, and sleeping, the days are very full and I am learning to detach from foolishly ambitious ideas of productivity. It will be many more weeks before we’re fully unpacked and possibly years before our house is clean and organized, and while the perfectionist in me is still clinging to denial, I imagine I’ll eventually reach acceptance of these new terms. With that said, please excuse the unreturned e-mails, texts, and messages. I’m slowly wading back into the world of communication and I appreciate all the thoughtful words and wishes you’ve sent our way.
I have so much to write about our transition into the country that I may have to author a collection of short stories on the topic, but for now I’m definitely planning to blog about it. There have been moments of hilarity, fear, and serious Starbucks withdrawal. It’s been disorienting, but also peaceful, and we are definitely enjoying spending more time as a family. But lest you walk away with the impression that we’re living a life of perfection, please know that like all the big changes in life, it is an adjustment (as evidenced by the fact that I’m typing with one hand at the moment).
On that note, I end with some photos from Rosie’s first week of life. She changes an incredible amount every day, sometimes hour to hour, but she is nothing short of divine.